The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others

For most people, it means you have to make choices about the actions you want to emphasize. The best place to start is by choosing the actions that make up your core values or, in other words, your personal presence brand.

As you develop your mental aim, you also need to determine what conversation is currently in your head and how it may need to change. Even when you aren’t paying attention, your internal conversation is always happening.

I took the feedback to heart and literally looked in the mirror. I realized that my most relaxed expression is a frown. In other words, if I’m doing nothing I’m frowning. Not at all the presence I want to convey! So I worked hard to adjust my neutral expression to be upturned, or a slight smile. Now that expression feels natural to me.

People who maintain optimistic thoughts gain resilience. When they have setbacks, they see the issue as temporary and specific, not permanent and pervasive.

When I address these top executives, I introduce the concept of the red blinking light. When a leader walks into a room, it’s as though a red blinking light is flashing a message: “This is important!” When the CEO goes into a meeting, the importance of that meeting rises. If he decides to skip a meeting, its importance is reduced. Leaders have to b

I define having an intentional presence as understanding how you want to be perceived and subsequently communicating in a manner so that you will be perceived the way you want. It means aligning your thoughts with your words and actions. And it requires a keen understanding of your true, authentic self, as well as your impact on others.

The intentions that we hold in our head, either positive or negative, create mental shortcuts that become a veritable path of least resistance. The more we think something, the easier it is for our mind to process it. That’s why it’s critical to be fully aware of any negative thoughts blocking your progress.

In general, it’s not the pause we notice as much as the speaker’s reaction to her own pause. I’ve seen magnetic presenters make prolonged pauses look entirely deliberate.

Accept the feeling. Dwell on it for a moment. Perhaps even name it: “There’s my crazy telltale heart again.” But don’t conclude that it will make you unsuccessful.

The best way to improve your body language is to focus on your intention and make sure your body carries that message as well. (How you dress also counts as a form of nonverbal communication, with a similar need for alignment. See the sidebar for tips on how dress, as physical expression, can strengthen your presence.)