The Power of Positive Self-Talk

Often, we become stuck because we are divided against ourselves on the inside. Let’s say we made a huge mistake at work, with a friend, or with our child. We are truly sorry, we have apologized, and we have done whatever we needed to correct the mistake. Yet we still blame ourselves, talk harshly to ourselves, and can’t let it go. We are stuck and

The relationship he has with himself impacts all the other relationships in his life whether he wants it to or not.

I am a nice person who’s had friends in the past. It hurts to not have many now, and that is a normal reaction. I think a lot of women feel the way I do. Over time my friendships changed as kids grew up, friends moved away, and I started attending a different church. This is a hard time for me and I’m going to be kind to myself rather than put myse

Self-compassion is different from self-esteem. Self-esteem is about assessing yourself in a positive way—often in comparison to others, which can lead to narcissism (feeling special or better than others). Self-compassion, on the other hand, is a gentle way we relate to ourselves when we’re struggling—with kindness, caring, empathy, and understandi

When we have compassion toward ourselves, we will be able to tolerate and process our feelings in healthy ways. Studies show that self-compassion increases resilience and self-worth, aids in stress reduction, and helps us recover from painful experiences.1 These are key elements of emotional competency.

Ask yourself some questions to highlight the truth: Did I do what I did on purpose? Am I truly sorry? Have I apologized and asked forgiveness from the person I hurt? If my friend did the same thing to someone else, would they deserve to be forgiven? What would I say to them? Why am I so surprised by my own sinfulness or imperfections? Do I really t

Bill shared, Larry could feel those awful feelings of shame and rejection coming up again. In his effort not to feel those feelings again, he would push others in high places to validate his worth and elevate him to the top spot no matter what. If he could get them to do this, he wouldn’t have to feel the devastating shame he carried. As Bill gentl

How wonderful that Lori could separate feeling bad from being bad.

Yes, I wish I’d acted differently. I’m also using this experience for good in order to grow and learn. I can grant myself grace while still doing what is necessary to right this situation. I’m not perfect, and I don’t need to be. I am lovable and acceptable even when I make mistakes.