Sherrie also decided to talk to herself compassionately about the rough year she’d had and then come up with a plan to handle this recent news. This has been a tough year. I’ve had so much to handle and it seems like the tough times just keep coming. It feels like I can’t handle one more thing, but I know God and my family and friends will help me.

The relationship he has with himself impacts all the other relationships in his life whether he wants it to or not.

Self-compassion is different from self-esteem. Self-esteem is about assessing yourself in a positive way—often in comparison to others, which can lead to narcissism (feeling special or better than others). Self-compassion, on the other hand, is a gentle way we relate to ourselves when we’re struggling—with kindness, caring, empathy, and understandi

I am a nice person who’s had friends in the past. It hurts to not have many now, and that is a normal reaction. I think a lot of women feel the way I do. Over time my friendships changed as kids grew up, friends moved away, and I started attending a different church. This is a hard time for me and I’m going to be kind to myself rather than put myse

When we see ourselves in this balanced way—with truth and grace—we can acknowledge our faults without either falling into a self-focused pit of shame or defending against seeing the truth of the situation. Before you start getting down on yourself for responding in unhealthy ways, you can talk to yourself with compassion: I think I sometimes do res

Bill shared, Larry could feel those awful feelings of shame and rejection coming up again. In his effort not to feel those feelings again, he would push others in high places to validate his worth and elevate him to the top spot no matter what. If he could get them to do this, he wouldn’t have to feel the devastating shame he carried. As Bill gentl

Often, we become stuck because we are divided against ourselves on the inside. Let’s say we made a huge mistake at work, with a friend, or with our child. We are truly sorry, we have apologized, and we have done whatever we needed to correct the mistake. Yet we still blame ourselves, talk harshly to ourselves, and can’t let it go. We are stuck and

Yes, I wish I’d acted differently. I’m also using this experience for good in order to grow and learn. I can grant myself grace while still doing what is necessary to right this situation. I’m not perfect, and I don’t need to be. I am lovable and acceptable even when I make mistakes.

When we have compassion toward ourselves, we will be able to tolerate and process our feelings in healthy ways. Studies show that self-compassion increases resilience and self-worth, aids in stress reduction, and helps us recover from painful experiences.1 These are key elements of emotional competency.