The Power of Positive Self-Talk

I am a nice person who’s had friends in the past. It hurts to not have many now, and that is a normal reaction. I think a lot of women feel the way I do. Over time my friendships changed as kids grew up, friends moved away, and I started attending a different church. This is a hard time for me and I’m going to be kind to myself rather than put myse

Research shows that self-criticism is strongly linked to depression, which is linked to a lack of resilience.3 People who are self-critical and depressed do not rebound well from the difficulties of life; instead they tend to be very self-focused as they try to survive their depression, anxiety, and the bully beating them up on the inside. Often wi

Often, we become stuck because we are divided against ourselves on the inside. Let’s say we made a huge mistake at work, with a friend, or with our child. We are truly sorry, we have apologized, and we have done whatever we needed to correct the mistake. Yet we still blame ourselves, talk harshly to ourselves, and can’t let it go. We are stuck and

How wonderful that Lori could separate feeling bad from being bad.

Sherrie also decided to talk to herself compassionately about the rough year she’d had and then come up with a plan to handle this recent news. This has been a tough year. I’ve had so much to handle and it seems like the tough times just keep coming. It feels like I can’t handle one more thing, but I know God and my family and friends will help me.

When we see ourselves in this balanced way—with truth and grace—we can acknowledge our faults without either falling into a self-focused pit of shame or defending against seeing the truth of the situation. Before you start getting down on yourself for responding in unhealthy ways, you can talk to yourself with compassion: I think I sometimes do res

Ask yourself some questions to highlight the truth: Did I do what I did on purpose? Am I truly sorry? Have I apologized and asked forgiveness from the person I hurt? If my friend did the same thing to someone else, would they deserve to be forgiven? What would I say to them? Why am I so surprised by my own sinfulness or imperfections? Do I really t

Bill shared, Larry could feel those awful feelings of shame and rejection coming up again. In his effort not to feel those feelings again, he would push others in high places to validate his worth and elevate him to the top spot no matter what. If he could get them to do this, he wouldn’t have to feel the devastating shame he carried. As Bill gentl

Here’s some truth you might say to yourself with grace: Dear Me, I know you are having a really hard time forgiving yourself for what happened. I know you’ve tried many times to say you are forgiven, but you haven’t felt forgiven. What this tells me is that you are really hurting inside about what you feel your part in this is. I’m here to tell you