But we can influence how she will think about whatever she has by being honest about what we do with our own money now. She should know how to save but also how and when to splurge. She should know how to protect herself, too, from her own feelings about money and those of others who might manipulate her. It is an essential part of parenting, even

We can’t have or do everything we want, and it’s a lesson we need to remind our kids of often. Even if there is enough money, there’s not enough time. At its root, the question of how much is enough is reflected in choices we make nearly every day. And many of these choices are trade-offs.

One of the most profound challenges of having kids is that raising them isn’t simply about shaping their financial values and decision-making skills. Teaching them means questioning our own priorities as well, which is a healthy thing to do in any event. So defining enough for us grown-ups has to happen as early as possible in the parenting

Still, there is one crucial question that applies to nearly everything we’ve considered so far. In fact, it’s one of the central questions of human happiness, productivity, and prudent financial planning, whether you’re Bill Gates or down to the last dollar each month: How much is enough?

But when you’re a young couple raising your family, it’s a new process and experience for everyone. Nobody who is raising children has done it before. It’s a blank slate, and we’re also growing and changing as we raise our children.”

One good reason for kids to hang out with people who are different from them is to realize that nobody has a monopoly on happiness and that it’s often great fun to slip into a world that is not like your own.

And Duckworth fantasizes about putting her own preteen daughters to work. “I would break the law to get my kids a paid job right now,” she said. “Where their boss is not their mom. Someone who doesn’t give a shit, and you just have to show up and perform.”

What our kids can learn from paid employment is a work ethic, that loose phrase that captures the ability to listen, exert ourselves, cooperate with others, do our best, and stick to a task until we’ve done it, and done it right. Or we could just call it “grit,” a term that University of Pennsylvania professor Angela Duckworth has helped popularize

Kids like to work and enjoy earning money; we just don’t do a good enough job of encouraging their industriousness and helping them find new ways to earn.