Use “I” statements. Nobody likes being told what to do or that they’re wrong. Using “I” statements like, “I don’t agree with you and here’s why,” is much more effective than, “That’s a stupid idea.” Presenting an opinion as a fact creates defensiveness while owning our opinion prevents it from being toxic. For example, there’s a big difference

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whenever he discussed something with anyone at work, he would start by offering his impressions of how the other person saw things. Then he would ask, “What did I miss?” Asking this question is a clever move. It implies that he’s open to correction and gives the other person a chance to correct him. One of the deepest-rooted human instincts is to

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