Whenever you catch yourself losing motivation on a project, look for the implicit “have to” in your thinking and make a decision at that moment to embrace the path—as it is, not the way you think it should be—or let go of it. It’s your choice.

three Now Habit tools: • three-dimensional thinking and the reverse calendar, to combat the terror of being overwhelmed • the work of worrying, to tackle the fear of failure and the fear of being imperfect • persistent starting, to tackle fear of not finishing

Does life feel like a long series of obligations that cannot be met?

“Maybe it’s also been a long time since you were that approving of yourself.

The fear of judgment is the key fear that stems from over-identifying who you are, your worth as a person, with your work. From this fear follows the counterproductive drive toward perfectionism, severe self-criticism, and the fear that you must deprive yourself of leisure time in order to satisfy some unseen judge.

The reverse calendar starts with the ultimate deadline for your project and then moves back, step by step, to the present where you can focus your energy on starting.

Both workaholics and chronic procrastinators are either working or feeling guilty about not working.

The thrill of that first jump will always be with me, as will the memory of my joyful laughter as I safely touched down without a scratch. But what has become more important to me over the years is the lesson of empowerment that comes from changing a “have to” into a choice.

Dr. Theodore Rubin in his book Compassion and Self-Hate