Lead by example and others will follow. People follow action more than instruction. So actively demonstrate what you think is the best thing to do. As they say: Be the change you want to see in the world.

If you live by your beliefs and standards you’ll be in a harmony called cognitive consonance. You think a way and act that way too. That feels great.

The Stoics say we must set standards, and then live by them. It’s the work of philosophy to examine and uphold the standards, “but the work of a truly good person is in using those standards when they know them.” Epictetus couldn’t be clearer—we must live by the standards we know.

There’s great danger, he says, to talk about what you’ve learned. Because you might vomit up what’s not yet digested. “For even sheep do not vomit up their grass and show to the shepherds how much they have eaten; but when they have internally digested the pasture, they produce externally wool and milk.”

Practice 55 Lead by Example "Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." – Marcus Aurelius

The goal when you enter a conversation is to understand what the other person wants to tell you. You listen with the intent to understand. That’s called empathic listening. And it’ll massively improve your relationships. Resist the urge to speak. Accept that something within you always wants to respond immediately. It wants to add something to the

The Stoics advise to listen rather than speak. And if you listen, you should pay attention to what’s being said so you understand what the speaker is trying to express. That way, you acknowledge the other person’s values and autonomy.

Practice 54 Listen with the Intent to Understand “Acquire the habit of attending carefully to what is being said by another, and of entering, so far as possible, into the mind of the speaker.” – Marcus Aurelius

Marcus Aurelius advises to speak only what you think is just, and always do so with kindness, modesty, and sincerity. The point is: Speak only when you’re certain that what you’ll say isn’t better left unsaid.