The Buddhists have a useful phrase for unconditional positive regard: “idiot compassion,” which is the kind of empathy that never challenges people’s stories or threatens to hurt their feelings. It consoles but also conceals.

What does this person care about? Am I looking with fresh eyes? What is the best way to let them know their goodness?

Sometimes people feel disappointed when they hear about practicing compassion: “You mean I have to be nice?”