The Highest Goal: The Secret That Sustains You in Every Moment

You can learn whether the things you thought you loved to do are really as satisfying as you thought. Conversely, you can see that tasks you normally avoid are not really that bad; in fact, they can be fulfilling and lead to flow if you are consciously aware when you do them.

I think the secret is the more I pay attention to exactly what I am doing, the easier it is to love doing it. Even cleaning toilets … I love having them clean, and it’s an act of service (i.e., love) for family and visitors who will be using them.”

You have to decide whether you are going to live in VOJ-time or in Self-time. VOJ-time fills you with distractions: It leads to scarcity thinking, contracts your possibilities and allows your fears to loom large. You don’t use your time wisely. When you live in Self-time, you intentionally stay in the present, drawing that intention naturally from

When you experience a fear, like the ones on your list, what do you do about it? The great psychoanalytical theorist Karen Horney identified three ways people deal with fear: move away from it, fight it or move toward it. Most people move away from their fears—an act of denial or avoidance psychoanalysts call “repression.” And the consequences of s

Fear is inevitable and real, but the way we understand and react to it is not.

Become more aware of what you love to do, and move toward making your life a series of moments spent doing those things.

How can you begin to live in Self-time? Try ignoring clocks or other timepieces for at least a day. Avoid radio or television reports that would give you the precise time. Tell people around you that you do not want to know the precise time. This isn’t easy to do, especially if you try it during a workday, but the benefits can be great.

Love everything you do. See difficult activities that you have to do in a larger context of your goals.

Select three activities that you love to do but haven’t done for quite a while. Commit to yourself, or, better yet, to someone else, that you will do all three as part of this live-with. See what happens and write down your experiences.