The Happiness Trap

However, living by our values doesn’t mean we give up on all our goals.

“If I use this thought for guidance, will it help me to be the sort of person I want to be; do the things I really want to do; and in the long term, build a better life?”

When we’re behaving like the sort of person we want to be, responding effectively to our challenges, and doing things that make life better in the long term, we’re doing “toward moves.”

Silently say to yourself, “I’m having the thought that I am X.” Notice what happens.

very important difference between values and actions. For any given value, you can either act on it, or not. If you want to act on the values of kindness and being loving, then even if you’ve never done so in your life, you can start today.”

These three short phrases—be present, open up, do what matters—pretty much summarize the whole ACT model.

a particular emotion is called an “action tendency.” But notice the key word here: tendency. A tendency means we have the inclination to do something; it doesn’t mean we have to do it, that we have no choice. So, for example, when you’re

struggle strategies become problematic when we use them excessively; we use them in situations where they can’t work; or using them stops us from doing things that matter to us.

The aim is to keep acknowledging your thoughts and feelings and at the same time tune into and actively move your body. The reason for this is to give you more control over your physical actions—over what you do with your arms, hands, legs, feet, face, and mouth—so you can act more effectively while the emotional storm continues to rage.