The Happiness Trap

After several rounds of ACE (Acknowledging the image or memory

we give our full attention to what we do, so we can do it well and make the most of it.

Well, the more preoccupied we are with what is out of our control (such as things we can’t have), the more miserable and disempowered we become. But our values connect us with what is in our control: the ability to act like the sort of person we want to be.

No one likes feeling bad, so, naturally, we all try to avoid or get rid of unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Psychologists call this “experiential avoidance”: the ongoing attempt to avoid or get rid of unwanted inner experiences.

Unhooking Technique 4: Thank Your Mind

These three short phrases—be present, open up, do what matters—pretty much summarize the whole ACT model.

When Fred chose to live by his values, that didn’t magically sort out all his problems and make him live happily ever after. But it did improve his quality of life, making it more meaningful and fulfilling.

The aim is to keep acknowledging your thoughts and feelings and at the same time tune into and actively move your body. The reason for this is to give you more control over your physical actions—over what you do with your arms, hands, legs, feet, face, and mouth—so you can act more effectively while the emotional storm continues to rage.

three overarching principles of ACT are as follows: 1. Be present. Focus your attention on what’s important and engage in what you do. 2. Open up. Unhook from your thoughts and feelings; allow them to be as they are and let them freely flow through you. 3. Do what matters. Act effectively, guided by your values.