So here is “the happiness trap” in a nutshell: to increase our happiness, we try hard to avoid or get rid of unwanted thoughts and feelings—but paradoxically, the more effort we put into this STRUGGLE, the more difficult thoughts and feelings we create.

Increasing self-awareness is the first step. So notice all the little things you do each day to avoid or get rid of unpleasant thoughts and feelings—and carefully track the consequences. Ideally, keep a journal or spend a few minutes each day reflecting on this

In ACT we have a saying for this: “The solution is the problem!”

away moves are things you do, not things you feel. So emotions, feelings, sensations, and urges are not away moves; they always go at the bottom of the choice point, never on the away arrow. Away moves are unworkable things you do in response to all that stuff at the bottom.

“values”: your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being; how you want to treat yourself and others and the world around you.

the technical name for it is workability. If what you’re doing in a particular situation is helping you move closer toward the life you want to build, we say it’s “workable” (a toward move); but if it’s having the opposite effect, we say it’s “unworkable” (an away move).

When we’re behaving unlike the sort of person we want to be, doing things that keep us stuck or make life worse in the long term, we’re doing “away moves.”

Basically, toward moves are things you say and do—no matter how small they may be—that enhance your life; that make it richer, fuller, and more meaningful.

“I’m noticing obsessing” or “There’s my mind ruminating.” Or you might prefer to drop phrases like “I’m noticing”