The Happiness Trap

The more useful approach is to ask, “Does this thought offer anything useful? If I let it guide me, will it take me toward or away from the life I want?” If this thought is offering something helpful, then make good use of it; allow it to guide what you do. But if it’s not offering anything of value, unhook.

To quote the legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”

When Fred chose to live by his values, that didn’t magically sort out all his problems and make him live happily ever after. But it did improve his quality of life, making it more meaningful and fulfilling.

emotions are comprised of two interweaving elements: cognitions and sensations.

Not trying to get rid of your pain but rather making room for it… Allowing it to be as it is in this moment… Giving it plenty of space… And sending in warmth and kindness… Taking a moment to acknowledge, this feeling is a sign you care… It tells you there’s something important that really matters to you… A gap between what you want and what you’ve

Well, the more preoccupied we are with what is out of our control (such as things we can’t have), the more miserable and disempowered we become. But our values connect us with what is in our control: the ability to act like the sort of person we want to be.

We can’t alter what has happened in the past, but we don’t have to let it dictate who we are.

In other words, away moves are things we say and do that make our lives worse,

more useful approach is to consider: What do we want to bring to life’s table? No matter how that table is set, there is always much we can bring to it: love, kindness, caring, curiosity, openness,

The fact is, negative thoughts are normal.