The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living

Changing or getting rid of it is not the goal. The goal is to make peace with it; to let it to be there, even if you don’t like it or want it.

The other meaning of happiness is ‘a rich, full and meaningful life’. When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, when we move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, when we clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich and full and meaningful, and we experience a powerful

fear • anger • shock • disgust • sadness • guilt • love • joy • curiosity. You have just read a list of the nine basic human emotions, from which all others are derived by combination. (At least, this is what many scientists believe—it’s still the subject of considerable debate.)

Notice that you haven’t challenged the thought at all. You haven’t tried to get rid of it, debated whether it’s true or false, or tried to replace it with a positive thought.

Grief is a normal emotional reaction to any significant loss, whether a loved one, a job or a limb. There’s no way to avoid or get rid of it—it’s just there. And, once accepted, it will pass in its own time.

when your primary motivation is the avoidance of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, this drains the joy and vitality from what you are doing.

Does it help me to be the person I want to be?

whether a thought is true is not that important. Far more important is whether it’s helpful.

‘WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS?’ This question sets you up to run through all your problems one by one, seeing if you can pinpoint what caused your feelings.