The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living

when your primary motivation is the avoidance of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, this drains the joy and vitality from what you are doing.

One particular type of thought process is so intimately linked to our emotions that some experts consider it a core component. This is the process of ‘making sense of’ or ‘giving meaning to’ our experience. For example, with sadness you have a sense of loss, and with fear you have a sense of danger.

The more pragmatic approach is to ask, ‘Is this thought helpful? Does it help me take action to create the life I want?’

Changing or getting rid of it is not the goal. The goal is to make peace with it; to let it to be there, even if you don’t like it or want it.

The other meaning of happiness is ‘a rich, full and meaningful life’. When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, when we move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, when we clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich and full and meaningful, and we experience a powerful

The values-focused life will always be more fulfilling than the goal-focused life because you get to appreciate the journey even as you’re working towards your goals.

Our struggle switch is like an emotional amplifier—switch it ON and we can have anger about our anxiety, anxiety about our anger, depression about our depression, or guilt about our guilt.

whether a thought is true is not that important. Far more important is whether it’s helpful.

The bottom line is not whether a thought is positive or negative, true or false, pleasant or unpleasant, optimistic or pessimistic, but whether it helps you create a fulfilling life.

The three basic steps of expansion are: observe your feelings, breathe into them, and allow them to come and go.