▪

However, struggle strategies become problematic when: ▪ we use them excessively ▪ we use them in situations where they can’t work ▪ using them stops us from doing things that matter to us.

‘But hang on a minute!’ I hear you say. ‘Aren’t negative thoughts harmful or bad for us?’. The answer is: no!

What we feel varies enormously from person to person, and may include many different emotions including anger, sadness, anxiety, guilt, loneliness, despair or fear. Such feelings are normal reactions to any significant loss, whether a loved one, a job or a limb; we expect to feel them as part of a normal grieving process.

Is this an old thought? Have I heard this one before? Do I gain anything useful from listening to it again? ▪ If I let this thought guide my actions, will that help me to improve my life? ▪ What would I get for buying into this thought?

workability: is this working to help you build the sort of life you want?

▪ when distressing or traumatic memories arise ▪ when strong addictive cravings or urges arise ▪ whenever you want to get out of OBEY or STRUGGLE mode.

And as you do it, you give it your full attention.

However, I’m sure you’ve discovered that the more stressed you are, the more difficult the situation you’re in, the less ability you have to control your thoughts and feelings. In really difficult situations, when life hits you hard, when you’re tackling major challenges or stepping out of your comfort zone to face your fears — you simply can’t exp