Distraction You distract yourself from your thoughts and feelings by focusing on something else: you smoke a cigarette, eat some ice-cream, go shopping or play computer games.

Is this an old thought? Have I heard this one before? Do I gain anything useful from listening to it again? ▪ If I let this thought guide my actions, will that help me to improve my life? ▪ What would I get for buying into this thought?

First, bring to mind an upsetting self-judgmental thought that takes the form ‘I am X’, for example, ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m incompetent’. Pick a thought that often recurs and hooks you in some way: brings you down, holds you back, pulls you into away moves, dominates your awareness, etc. (If you can’t think of a self-judgment, use a

‘What story is my mind telling me now?’

emptiness, hollowness or a sense of being ‘dead inside’: a fairly common experience in depression or trauma.

the less intense the emotions, and the less stressful the situation, the more control we have.

If you’re giving to charity primarily to get rid of thoughts that you’re selfish, or you’re throwing yourself into work mainly to avoid feelings of inadequacy, or you’re looking after your friends primarily to counteract the fear of rejection, then chances are you won’t get much satisfaction out of those activities.

You can use this technique with any difficult thought that tends to hook you. For instance, if your mind says, ‘Life sucks!’ then acknowledge, ‘I’m having the thought that life sucks!’ If you prefer, use the term ‘I’m noticing’; so when your mind says, ‘I’ll fail!’ you acknowledge, ‘I’m noticing the thought that I’ll fail!’

and you run through several cycles.