The Happiness Trap 2nd Edition: Stop Struggling, Start Living

1. Focusing on Walking Go for a five-minute walk, and with as much curiosity as you can muster, really notice the things around you. Notice what you can see and hear, and touch and taste and smell. Pay attention as if you’re a curious child who has never encountered these kinds of things before. As you do this, let your mind chatter away like a radio

The aim of unhooking is to free you up, to do those towards moves and focus on what matters.

Is this an old thought? Have I heard this one before? Do I gain anything useful from listening to it again? ▪ If I let this thought guide my actions, will that help me to improve my life? ▪ What would I get for buying into this thought?

‘The important question here is not whether your thoughts are true or not, but whether they are helpful.’

‘What story is my mind telling me now?’

You can use this technique with any difficult thought that tends to hook you. For instance, if your mind says, ‘Life sucks!’ then acknowledge, ‘I’m having the thought that life sucks!’ If you prefer, use the term ‘I’m noticing’; so when your mind says, ‘I’ll fail!’ you acknowledge, ‘I’m noticing the thought that I’ll fail!’

First, bring to mind an upsetting self-judgmental thought that takes the form ‘I am X’, for example, ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m incompetent’. Pick a thought that often recurs and hooks you in some way: brings you down, holds you back, pulls you into away moves, dominates your awareness, etc. (If you can’t think of a self-judgment, use a recurren

workability: is this working to help you build the sort of life you want?

These metaphorical terms illustrate many of the common side-effects of getting hooked, especially the drain on our energy and attention.