The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

when and how we shut down: “In cultivating compassion we draw from the wholeness of our experience—our suffering, our empathy, as well as our cruelty and terror. It has to be this way. Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present wi

Perfectionism actually increases the odds that we’ll experience these painful emotions and often leads to self-blame: It’s my fault. I’m feeling this way because “I’m not good enough.”

all of the dreams that we don’t follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes, and disappointing others.

“Today, I’m going to believe that showing up is enough.”

In my research, I found that what silences our intuitive voice is our need for certainty.

“Mean and nasty is my default setting. It doesn’t take courage for me to be shaming back. I can use my shame superpowers for evil in a split second. Letting myself feel hurt—that’s a totally different story. I think your default is my courage.”

some worthy endeavors will be difficult and time consuming and not enjoyable at all.

Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.

face with the people we care about.