The Gap and the Gain

Obsessive passion is highly impulsive and fueled by suppressed emotions and unresolved internal conflict. You become obsessed with something to the point of an unhealthy desperation. You believe you need it, and can’t be happy without

Needing anything outside of yourself is a form of being in the GAP. When you’re in the

Hedonic adaptation is so powerful that no matter how big the change is—you marry your dream girl, double your income, or achieve all your goals—the thrill wears off and you quickly revert to feeling “normal” and unfulfilled again.

You also love what you’re working on and building. You’re committed and focused, but you’re not trying to rush to the next place to fill some unresolved need.

hedonic adaptation.

This is the counterintuitive reality: by no longer needing what you want, you are actually far more enabled to get it. You can freely perform and be in the flow, rather than obsessing over how it will turn out.

Harmonious passion, on the other hand, is intrinsically motivated and healthy. When you are harmoniously passionate, you control your passion rather than having it control you. You’re intuitive and thoughtful about what you’re doing, not reactive and irrational. You’re purposeful and goal-directed, not “need”

You’re in the GAP every time you measure yourself or your situation against an ideal.

“The rule is simple: the person who fails the most will win. If I fail more than you do, I will win. Because in order to keep failing, you’ve got to be good enough to keep playing.”