The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

The mythology has it that once you start having sex, it will all come naturally—and if it doesn’t, then you must have some deep-seated psychological problem, right?

What you are not responsible for is your lover’s emotions. You can choose to be supportive—we’re great believers in the healing power of listening—but it is not your job to fix anything. Once you understand that your lover’s emotions are not your job or your fault, you can listen and really hear without falling victim to an overwhelming need to fig

A good fight starts with the understanding that for a fight to be successful, everyone has to win. If one person wins a fight and another loses, the problem that caused the fight has not been resolved: it is naive to imagine that just because you’ve “lost,” you’ve given up your interest in whatever issue is at stake. When you feel overpowered, outg

It’s a very good idea for everyone to learn to live single—to figure out how to get your needs met without being partnered so you don’t find yourself seeking a partner to fill needs that you could equally well fill yourself. You might also consider experimenting with some relationships unlike those you’ve tried in the past—instead of looking for yo

The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open

“We hate boredom. We are people who are greedy to experience all that life has to offer and are also generous in sharing what we have to offer.”

Occasionally, you may decide to dismiss something that’s bugging you because it seems too trivial. However, if that issue comes into your mind three times, it is obviously still bothering you. Perhaps you could start a conversation with, “There’s a small thing that’s been bothering me.”

“Oh well—AFOG,” which stands, she says, for “Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth.”

“Just tell me I don’t have anything to worry about.”