Ian pretended that not knowing what to do was the hard part. But, somewhere inside, I think Ian knew that making a choice about something is when the real uncertainty begins. The more terrifying kind of uncertainty is wanting something but not knowing how to get it. It is working toward something even though there is no sure thing. When we make

Our twenties can be like living beyond time. When we graduate from school, we leave behind the only lives we have ever known, ones that have been manageably organized into semester-sized chunks with microgoals nestled within. There are syllabi and tests and papers and assignments that keep us on track. There are teachers (or parents) to tell us

As a twentysomething, life is still more about potential than proof.

But it’s just so easy. It’s hard to resist this power handed to me.” “Power . . .” “The power to be desired. The power to feel special.” “And if a man doesn’t want you, you feel unspecial?”

We spent even more sessions helping her shift from being wanted to wanting. Cathy had never thought about what she wanted or needed in a partner. She never thought she could do the wanting.

Without a doubt, then, friends play a crucial role for many twentysomethings, and they provide lots of good times. With all the attention paid to the urban tribe, however, many twentysomethings have limited themselves to huddling together with the same few people. This is a problem because, while the urban tribe may be the most supportive figures

Twentysomethings who don’t feel anxious and incompetent at work are usually overconfident or underemployed.

Twentysomethings who take the time to explore and also have the nerve to make commitments along the way construct stronger identities.

The fastest route to something new is one phone call, one email, one box of books, one favor, one thirtieth birthday party, one chance meeting, one weak tie.