The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

There are three parts to the formula: identifying the trigger, identifying the old habit and defining the new behaviour.

The Kickstart Question: “What’s on Your Mind?” An almost fail-safe way to start a chat that quickly turns into a real conversation is the question, “What’s on your mind?”

There are four primary drivers—they spell out the acronym TERA—that influence how the brain reads any situation.

SOLUTION TO COACHING THE GHOST Bring the focus back to the person you’re talking to. Acknowledge what’s going on, and ask the Focus Question. It will sound something like this: “I think I understand some of what’s going on with [insert name of the person or the situation]. What’s the real challenge here for you?”

Saying Yes more slowly means being willing to stay curious before committing. Which means asking more questions: Why are you asking me? Whom else have you asked? When you say this is urgent, what do you mean? According to what standard does this need to be completed? By when? If I couldn’t do all of this, but could do just a part, what part would y

Block defined an adult-to-adult relationship as one in which you are “able to ask for what you want, knowing that the answer may be No.”

They start learning, start creating new neural pathways, only when they have a chance to recall and reflect on what just happened.

If you believe you do have a choice, then this environment is more likely to be a place of reward and therefore engagement.

In short, even though we don’t really know what the issue is, or what’s going on for the person, we’re quite sure we’ve got the answer she needs.