The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

Science has whittled that number down over time, so now it’s generally assumed that four is actually the ideal number at which we can chunk information. In some ways, it’s as if our unconscious brain counts like this: one, two, three, four… lots.

the difference between coaching for performance and coaching for development. Coaching for performance is the label typically applied to everyday solving-the-problem management. Coaching for development goes beyond just solving the problem and shifts the focus to the person who’s trying to solve the problem. As I said, it’s the difference between t

Bernard Shaw put it succinctly when he said, “The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Block defined an adult-to-adult relationship as one in which you are “able to ask for what you want, knowing that the answer may be No.”

Stick to questions starting with “What” and avoid questions starting with “Why.” It’s no accident that six of the Seven Essential Questions are What questions.

Tell less and ask more. Your advice is not as good As you think it is.

Open with: What’s on your mind? The perfect way to start; the question is open but focused. Check in: Is there anything else on your mind? Give the person an option to share additional concerns. Then begin to focus: So what’s the real challenge here for you? Already the conversation will deepen. Your job now is to find what’s most useful to look at

This question will typically have the person focus on the one or two key takeaways from the conversation.

Asking questions in general, and asking “What do you want?” specifically, will do that. It increases the sense of tribe-iness,

“Have you thought of…?” “What about…?” “Did you consider…?” Stop offering up advice with a question mark attached.