
The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

When you establish your own boundaries through clear, kind communication; hold those boundaries; and respect others’, you feel more confident identifying your own needs and asking others to respect them. This improves all of your relationships, and helps you reclaim your energy, time, and health.
Melissa Urban • The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
“When others set boundaries with me, it’s reassuring. I know they’re going to tell me what they need, where the line is, and if I unintentionally cross it.”
Melissa Urban • The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
“Now that I feel more confident setting my own boundaries, I recognize them faster when they’re set with me, and I’m much better about respecting them.”
Melissa Urban • The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
First, honor the boundary. Then express your feelings and take responsibility for them.
Melissa Urban • The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
When someone sets a boundary with you, it can be disappointing. You might feel hurt or sad, and you should express that. It’s possible to acknowledge your feelings and convey your respect for someone’s boundary at the same time, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do that.
Melissa Urban • The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
However, there are some warning signs that your conversation partner is avoiding, punishing, or manipulating you with their “boundaries.”
Melissa Urban • The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
But if you’re still fighting the urge to know why they need to set this limit with you, remember: The motivation behind their request is not my business.
Melissa Urban • The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
you’ll be able to more quickly switch from feeling defensive, hurt, or angry to responding in an empathetic and collaborative way to other people’s boundaries.
Melissa Urban • The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
it means that relationships in all areas of your life are getting to a more honest and healthy place.