The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Timeless Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children

I once read a beautiful teaching attributed simply to “a modern educator.” It read: “Try to see your child as a seed that came in a packet without a label. Your job is to provide the right environment and nutrients and to pull the weeds. You can’t decide what kind of flower you’ll get or in which season it will bloom.”

your main focus should be on short-circuiting arguments, letting go of your wish to reach consensus, and taking advantage of opportunities to let your child practice honoring you.

the prohibition against startling another person.

Parents cannot and should not try to eliminate longing in a child. Instead, we must teach our children how to redirect their longings, accept “no” graciously, and appreciate the blessings they do have.

Opportunities to practice derech eretz include greeting people, inviting them into our homes, and speaking about other people in a respectful way whether or not they are within earshot.

Judaism recognizes that it is possible to use food as a potent vehicle for holiness and family unity. Through the proper attitude toward food and the proper environment for eating, spiritual ideals can be transmitted into daily living.

A problem can be fixed, but a true limitation requires adjustment of expectations and acceptance of an imperfect son or daughter. Parents feel hope if their restless child is actually hyperactive, their dreamy child has ADD, their poor math student has a learning disorder, their shy child has a social phobia, their wrongdoing son has “intermittent

fair and firm. She warns her daughter ten minutes ahead of time that they will be leaving, and she briefly acknowledges Ruby’s feelings. She lets her daughter know that she’ll answer her questions in the car, but for the moment Mother has spoken and her word is law.

You, the parent, are the most important adult in your child’s world. When it’s time to leave a party, begin or end a play date, do homework, go to sleep, or get up, your child has a chance to demonstrate how much she honors you by cooperating promptly and without a fuss. If you are always casual and friendly, you’ll unwittingly turn these moments i