The Art of Communicating

There are two keys to effective and true communication. The first is deep listening. The second is loving speech.

I define happiness as the capacity to understand and to love, because without understanding and love no happiness could be possible.

We believe too much in the technologies of communication. Behind all these instruments we have the mind, the most fundamental instrument for communication. If our minds are blocked, there is no device that will make up for our inability to communicate with ourselves or others.

I am listening to this person with only one purpose: to give this person a chance to suffer less.

Nourishing and healing communication is the food of our relationships.

there’s no need to rush. We always have time for at least one in-breath and out-breath before we pick up the phone or before we press send on a text or e-mail. If we do this, there is a much greater chance that we will be putting more compassionate communication out into the world.

You shouldn’t eat french fries all day, and you shouldn’t be on the computer all day. A few french fries, a few hours, are probably all most of us need.

Practicing mindfulness of suffering—recognizing and embracing the suffering in oneself and in the other person—will give rise to the understanding necessary for good communication.

When irritation or anger arises, we lose our capacity to listen. That’s why we have to practice, so that during the whole time of listening, compassion can remain in our hearts. If we can keep our compassion alive, the seeds of anger and judgment in our hearts will not be watered and spring up. We have to train ourselves first so we’re able to list

When we listen with compassion, we don’t get caught in judgment. A judgment may form, but we don’t hold on to it.