The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict

“People whose hearts are at war toward others can’t consider others’ objections and challenges enough to be able to find a way through them.

“Whatever you say.

“The pyramid suggests that we should spend much more time and effort helping things go right than dealing with things that are going wrong. Unfortunately, however, these allocations of time and effort are typically reversed. We spend most of our time with others dealing with things that are going wrong. We try fixing our children, changing our spou

Bitterness, envy, indifference, resentment—these are hallmarks of the hot and cold wars that fester in the hearts of family members, neighbors, colleagues, and former friends the world over.

the more I edged in the darkness, the worse she seemed to me. When I chewed up a piece of the fence because I couldn’t see well, I felt a perverse sense of satisfaction. It proved how unreasonable Hannah was being.

“But you see, no conflict can be solved so long as all parties are convinced they are right.

“I didn’t get home until after dark. I’d beaten Paul for the first time and was feeling pretty happy. I went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and poured myself a large glass of orange

If we start seeing each other as objects, we’ll get to the point where we’ll need to see each other as disagreeable rather than as simply disagreeing.

juice. Hannah walked into the room when I was in the middle of a long guzzle. I quickly dropped the glass from my mouth and was about to say, ‘I beat Paul!’ when she asked, ‘Are you going to edge?