Hard Change involves saying no to some of what’s worked so far for Present You. Saying no now enables you to say yes to the promise of future rewards. You’re playing a longer-term, harder, bigger game, with a constant temptation to opt out for a short-term win. You’re potentially changing your beliefs and values, roles and relationships, and how

Philosopher Martin Buber talks about two types of relationships: I–It and I–Thou. I–It relationships are where you miss the essential humanity of the other person. I–Thou relationships are infused with empathy, a chance to maintain the human connection. Empathy gives you a deeper sense and understanding of what’s real for the other person.

Empathy: A greater sense of what’s real for the other person Mindfulness: A greater sense of what’s real about the situation Humility: A greater sense of what’s real about you

Advice is like being handed a large amount of foreign currency. What do you do with it? Rhik Samadder

advice” or “only ask questions.” That would be deeply impractical. Rather, it implies that advice-giving has its place in your life, and that advice-giving is usually an overdeveloped muscle. What you’re trying to do is train an underdeveloped muscle: curiosity.

leadership researcher Liz Wiseman found that “intellectual curiosity”—asking questions and being more coach-like—was the characteristic that most distinguished leaders who best created impact (called Multiplier leaders) from those who didn’t.

The best advice comes from people who don’t give advice. Matthew McConaughey

Generous appreciation sees the person they are beyond the things they do.

I find my most common pattern is to ask, “And what else?” twice, and then follow with a variation: “Is there anything else?” That final question offers the option of shutting the door on this line of inquiry, but also leaves it open should there be more to explore.