tension and flow
perhaps this is why the idea of intellectual seduction is so intoxicating: it thrives on restraint. a conversation charged with subtext, a letter laden with implication, a gaze held just a second too long. these moments generate their own kind of tension, a pleasure sharpened by denial. the body, paradoxically, becomes most present in its absence.... See more
can intellectual intimacy replace physical desire?
We seek intimacy to protect ourselves from feeling alone; and yet creating the distance essential to eroticism means stepping back from the comfort of our partner and feeling more alone.
Esther Perel • Mating in Captivity
“I think I always had a disconnect between desire for touch and the negotiation of what that touch would mean. I had sex for many reasons, but physical desire was, at that time, rarely one of them.”