Talk Given by John Ousterhout About Sustaining Relationships
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Talk Given by John Ousterhout About Sustaining Relationships
No relationship can ever come to a point where it is not a problem. Or if sometimes you see a relationship coming to a point where it is no longer a problem, that simply means it is not a relationship anymore. The relationship has disappeared—the fighters are tired, they have started accepting things as they are. They are bored; they don’t want to
... See moreThe advice I used to give couples earlier in my career was pretty much what you’d hear from virtually any marital therapist at the time—nothing but the same old pointers about conflict resolution and communication skills. But after looking squarely at my own data, I had to face the harsh facts: getting couples to disagree more “nicely” might reduce
... See moreWhen marriages fail, it is not increasing conflict that is the cause. It is decreasing affection and emotional responsiveness, according to a landmark study by Ted Huston of the University of Texas. Indeed, the lack of emotional responsiveness rather than the level of conflict is the best predictor of how solid a marriage will be five years into it
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