On this day, with my Higher Power’s help, I will focus on myself to find the solution that will keep me from repeating my past patterns.

For those of us who have children, we wanted to do it better but couldn’t find the language, often believing that praise would give them permission to stop trying. We had repeated the pattern, not realizing that the disappointment in their eyes mirrored our own childhood feelings.

Always seeking to please others, we were left waiting for our turn at getting our needs met.

We had no role models for healthy give and take.

our self-doubt was more powerful than our ability to trust ourselves.

ACA literature told us things about ourselves we didn’t know.

“The false self is the adult child personality expressed in the 14 traits of the Laundry List.” BRB p. 7

As adults, we found relationships where we could continue to do what we did best: wait. We waited in fear for the addict, for the abuse, for anything to go wrong.

We came to understand that to protect ourselves during childhood, we had to shut down. This didn’t happen for just one event or one day; we had to put a clamp on ourselves for years.