People with NPD can’t put themselves in your—or anyone’s—shoes. They can’t imagine how you would feel about anything—even the death of someone you loved.

Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the line from healthy function to dysfunction. Someone with NPD inhabits a different reality from most people. In this alternate reality, they were born to be a metaphorical king or queen, and they give little or no thought to the lives of the peasants who work the land, keep their belly filled, and warm

Most HCPs are shame-based, insecure, and troubled by feelings of worthlessness. For HCPs, admitting that they made a mistake is intolerable and unthinkable. Even admitting that they could make a mistake is intolerable. That admission would be catastrophic for their self-image, so they refuse to take any responsibility.

Many experts say that, in terms of emotional development, people with BPD are two years old.

For HCPs, there often cannot be any shades of gray. This is called splitting. You may recognize this all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking when you hear an HCP say things like, “You always do this,” and “You never do that.”

Personal limits are not about controlling or changing other people’s behavior. In fact, they’re not about other people at all. They’re about you, and what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Certain hot buttons get pushed so many times that even the slightest touch becomes painful. Hot buttons for you may include: being unfairly accused by your loved one having needs, feelings, and reactions discounted or denied by them

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): People show wild mood swings; see other people in black and white terms; act impulsively; are highly (and easily) triggered by real or imagined abandonment; and seem to either hate people or love them. These kinds of behaviors lead to intense and unmanageable relationships.

Kreger writes, “Own your choices. Recognize that you decide how to respond to the people, actions, and events in your life. You have choices—not necessarily fun ones, but choices nonetheless.