Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower, and Get Out of Your Own Way

So the key is believing that we are masters of our environments, because this gives us a sense of relief (and belief)

Our minds strive for cognitive consonance. We want to achieve harmony between thoughts and actions, and hate cognitive dissonance, which occurs when we think one way and act another.

going through my mind right now? In your journal, copy the chart here, document the date and time, and jot down the thoughts or mental images you are experiencing in the Automatic Thoughts column. Also take some time to note how much you believed in these thoughts on a scale of one (not really believing it at all) to ten (believing it as much as yo

Exercise: Physicalize the Emotion Intense negative feelings can make you feel out of control, and this is one of my favorite exercises to help regain control and feel mastery over circumstances and environment. We all need that feeling to some degree in order to feel safe, which is the basis for any type of self-actualizing pursuits and allows us t

you may not act, because the familiar feels safer than the alternative. I mean, better the devil you know, right?

First, do a quick check-in with your current emotional state. If you notice you are feeling sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration, or other negative emotions, name the Emotions to yourself out loud or in your head (and write them down in your journal). Then do a mental rewind to see if you can identify the Thought(s) that preceded the emotion

Knowing where triggers arise will help you to be able to intervene and stop the self-sabotage. As you look at this chain it’s clear that thoughts direct our feelings, which prompt our actions. For example, if you think someone is a reckless jerk for cutting you off on the highway, that thought will bring up feelings of irritation or even outrage an

you may find yourself experiencing a pattern of early, strong pursuit (approach) followed by waning motivation and effort (avoidance),

the helm, with the agency to know what your mind is doing at a particular time. Commenting on your thoughts brings separation between you and the contents of your mind, and this can help negative thoughts feel less urgent, believable, and actionable. The next time you notice a negative thought, try adding the phrase I’m having the thought that in f