This is why things hurt so badly when we identify with them. All hatred is self-hatred. This is why we become so goddamned heartbroken. We cannot lose people; we can only lose ourselves in an idea of them. We decided how we felt about ourselves through them—for better and for worse—so when we perceive that their mindset changes from loving us to lo

His heart had been broken. And now, all these years later, it seemed to him that the most horrible fact of human existence was that broken hearts mended.