Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm

Women naturally desire sex that is connected, earthy, sensual, and artistic. We want the permission to be turned on.

since for women especially, frequent access to the pleasure of orgasm is the key to finding joy, nourishment, and sustainable happiness.

Whereas once we thought of orgasm as an “intensely pleasurable moment in time, which, if done right, provides satisfaction and release,” suddenly it can also be an “intensely pleasurable period of time, which, regardless of outcome, offers the opportunity for revolutionary connection and transformational enjoyment.”

When in doubt, start with the stroke. What are you feeling in your finger as you stroke? Does your finger feel warm or cool? Dense or feather-light? Does it seem to be rising or falling? Then, pull back the lens until you are able to ask the same questions of your body as a whole. What is happening in your back, your neck, your heart? Do you feel a

if you have to ask all night, ask all night. You’ll know it when she finally speaks her desire because you will be able to feel it, landing with a satisfying thunk in your body.

The best sex is the kind where you don’t want to move an inch. In Slow Sex, we nix the habit of trying to increase sensation by increasing speed and pressure. Instead, when we feel sensation decrease, we apply more attention. Rather than trying to add something, we look more and more carefully at what is already there.

The One-Stroke OM is just that: one fifteen-minute stroke from the bottom of her clit to the top and back down again.

Attention is a skill we can develop as much or as little as we choose.

use the same “Would you…” construction. You’re not asking him if he can stroke a little more softly—of course he can, he’s perfectly capable of it—you’re asking him if he’d be willing to. It may seem like a small difference here on the page, but it feels completely different in practice. Alternate making requests and offers, aiming for three to fiv