One of the happiest days of my life was the day I gave up the ‘good friends’ dream and replaced it with a more realistic goal.”

Try asking him differently. You may be surprised at how generous he can be.

want to know how you feel . . . because your feelings are very important to me.”

‘Is this a play fight, or a real fight?’

Why in the world would I encourage him to view himself as being somehow superior to his brother? Was it because I was feeling sorry for him, all alone in that little dormitory room? So sorry that I had to give him a boost at his brother’s expense?

Children are also entitled to adult intervention when necessary. If one child is being abused by the other, either physically or verbally, we’ve got to step in. If there’s a problem that’s disrupting the entire household, we’ve got to step in. If there’s a problem that keeps coming up that hasn’t yielded to their solutions, we’ve got to step in.

So, if there are any toys you don’t want anyone else to touch or use, you can let each other know what they are and where you plan to keep them, and we’ll respect that.”

But it sure wasn’t obvious to us.

Johnny Attacks his Brother, Attend to the Brother Without Attacking Johnny