Freed from this burden, our sexuality was becoming more like a barometer—an expression of what was, already, in the partnership. It could be no more, or less, than this.

Its realization was actually a by-product of sharing and cooperation.

Now, however, in full possession of our own personal sense of dignity, and living our way into intimate partnership with another, we found that we no longer needed to rely solely on sexual expression to provide our sense of security and identity.

We had learned to work toward a high standard of honesty, openness, sharing, and responsibility, and to treasure the feeling of purpose and sense of belonging which accompanied these values. We found that personal or professional situations in which we could not affirm these spiritual values were expendable. These values were not just “window dress

This spiritual awakening was itself the product of having hit bottom and surrendered, having acquired a faith, having accomplished a practical examination of our past and our character, having developed a deepening relationship with God, having accepted responsibility for the impact our sex and love addiction had on others, becoming aware of proble

Deep-seated fear still lurked behind the scenes, prodding us into making unreasonable demands and attempts to extract absolute security from our personal relationships and endeavors.

In the absence of any workable, purely self-determined value system or strategy for living, we found that we had to examine our lives more or less continuously in the light of God’s plan.

Setting aside time to “get current” with those individuals with whom we had committed relationships was also needed, whether these were spouses, close friends, or others. We could not achieve partnership with anyone by our own solitary efforts!

The simple truth was that when our own spiritual condition was less than solid, everyone around us seemed to be “sick” with a malaise which, upon reflection, was remarkably like our own!