Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

When someone violates your boundary, you can Restate or refresh it Reduce your interactions with that person Issue an ultimatum Accept it and let go of the relationship

Inability to say no People-pleasing Dependency on feedback from others Paralyzing fear of being rejected Accepting mistreatment

Overwhelmed people have more to do than the time required for their tasks. They are drowning in thoughts about squeezing more into an already packed schedule.

Avoidance wasn’t an effective strategy for me, and it isn’t for you either. In the gentlest way possible, say “No, thanks, that doesn’t work for me; I’m not interested.” Or, “No, you can’t borrow my car.” Don’t waste your time and anyone else’s time hoping they will figure it out.

You feel resentful toward people for asking for your help. You avoid phone calls and interactions with people who might ask for something. You make comments about helping people and getting nothing in return. You feel burned out. You frequently daydream about dropping everything and disappearing. You have no time for yourself.

“I’m entitled to have expectations.” “In healthy relationships, my desires will be acknowledged and accepted.” “After I set limits, people will remain in a relationship with me.” “I can set standards even through my discomfort.”

“You can disagree without being mean or rude.”

At its core, resentment is disappointment. Then you mix in anger and fear. Because resentment is often an uncomfortable emotion to admit and express, many people deny feeling it. So they often express it in a passive-aggressive way. Instead of acknowledging “I’m feeling resentful,” they hint at the feeling through terse and evasive conversation. Or

You allow too much flexibility. You speak in uncertain terms. You haven’t verbalized your boundaries (they’re all in your head).

“What’s on Your Plate?” exercise is a constructive way to identify what you already have on your plate before committing to more.