Self-Therapy : A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS, A Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 3rd Edition

your true Self, not a therapist, is the agent of healing and wholeness.

In this case, ask it, “What are you afraid would happen if you made space me?” Most likely the part is afraid that in creating the space, it will give you the opportunity to push it away or ignore it.

IFS doesn’t see us as having a disease or deficit. It recognizes that we have the resources within us to solve our problems, though these resources may be blocked because of unconscious reactions to events in the past. IFS is designed to be Self-led.

As a result of childhood incidents, our exiles take on pain and negative beliefs, which are called burdens.

Loving yourself really means loving each of your parts. Befriending yourself means developing a relationship with each of your parts and having them trust you. The IFS method accomplishes this—not as a side effect but as a central aspect of the therapy.

Thank the target part for making itself known to you. If the work was only partly finished, let it know that you will come back to work with it more.

You have three options for going about this: 1. Start with a trailhead (see explanation below). Notice all the parts related to the trailhead and then choose one. 2. Start with a part you already know about and access it. 3. Access all the parts activated at the current moment and then choose one to focus on.

Once you have identified the parts at a trailhead, you choose one to focus on for the session. It is best to choose a protector to start with because it isn’t wise to work with an exile unless you first gain permission from any protectors of that exile.

After all, if you are the part, it will be hard to feel something toward it. Sometimes just asking this question serves to help you unblend from the part because you must step into a separate place in order to answer it.