Self-Therapy : A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS, A Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 3rd Edition

However, in some cases you may notice another non-Self feeling—another negative attitude toward the target part. This indicates that a second concerned part is blended with you. In this case, repeat the procedure with this part. Find out its concerns, and ask it to step aside. Continue until all concerned parts have stepped back and you are in Self

You can use body sensations or emotions to get to know a part. You can sense the part in your body or tune in to its emotions. A part might feel like buzzing excitement in your solar plexus, in which case you can ask what it is excited about.

As you get to know a protector through this process, it is crucial to find out its positive intent. What is trying to do for you? How is it trying to protect you?

There are two goals for IFS therapy: one, to heal your parts so their extreme roles are converted to capacities, and two, to help them cooperate with each other under the leadership of the Self.

A concerned part is also a protector. It is worried that the target part will do something to cause you pain, and it wants to protect you from that. So in this situation, we are working with two protectors, the target part and the concerned part. The target part wants to protect you from pain in its way, and the concerned part wants to protect you

This is not what we are looking for. Instead, check to see how you feel toward the part, how you are relating to it, what your attitude is toward it. Do you like the part or hate it? Do you appreciate it or judge it? Do you want to banish it? Are you afraid of it? Are you curious about it? Are you feeling removed from it?

Consequently, we start most IFS sessions by focusing on a protector.

This is often what IFS calls polarization, where two parts are fighting each other to determine how you behave. Polarization is beyond the scope of this book. It is covered in my book Resolving Inner Conflict.

IFS focuses on parts that play extreme roles in order to heal and transform them, which is what you will learn to do in this book. There are two kinds of extreme parts—protectors and exiles.

Parts are entities of their own, with their own feelings, beliefs, motivations, and memories. It is especially important to understand that parts have motivations for everything they do.