There is a good deal of implicit sentiment around relationships that troubles me, because it assumes a fundamentally defensive posture: You have to be happy first, you should date around a lot, you should reject quickly and on small pretenses, you shouldn’t take dating too seriously, etc. For some even attachment is a dirty word! 1 All of this is... See more

The funny thing is, most of us aren’t single because of how we look or what we weigh, our level of education or job description, or whether we asked the guy out first or waited three days to return his call. We’re single because we have this underlying belief that we need to be completely in synch with our mates, and if we’re not, we should find

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Now it’s more prevalent than ever—people talking about they’ll only date people in therapy. Everyone’s on Headspace or other apps. Everyone’s journaling. And it’s not that these things are bad, but the emphasis is always on the individual—it’s you who has to do something about it.