Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
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Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
The adult with attention deficit disorder needs also to gain a deeper understanding of herself, to undertake the task we will later describe as self-parenting.
Gabor Maté • Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
We are inexorably drawn to marry the individual who is, of all potential partners, the very one most likely to trigger in us the most painful and confusing of implicit memories—as well as the warmest, happiest ones.
Gabor Maté • Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
Such a person is presented with a choice between two alternatives, neither of which is satisfactory: one either choses the relationship and gives up the self, or retains the sense of self but gives up on the relationship—and, in some cases, on almost all social contact. The unsolved problem is how to be oneself in contact with other people.
Gabor Maté • Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
Guilt does not know the difference. It hurls at you the same epithet for both misdeed and self-expression: selfish. It also cannot discriminate between past and present. In place of your present-day interactions—with spouse, friend, doctor, butcher, baker, computer maker—it sees only your early relationships with your caregivers.
Gabor Maté • Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
Others with ADD thrive on constant turmoil and change. This also is a failure of internal regulation expressed in the need to take up new activities, new relationships or new situations constantly because the interest
Gabor Maté • Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
ADD adults don’t have low self-esteem because they are poor achievers, but it is due to their low self-esteem that they judge themselves and their achievements harshly. It is also, in part, due to low self-esteem that people do not reach their full potential, do not strive to locate within themselves fonts of creativity and self-expression, do not
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The addiction is the repeated behavior engaged in despite the certainty that it harms oneself or others. Passion loves the goal or process that is its object (the painting one buys or the painting one does), but the real object of addiction is the thrill of plunging into the behavior, not the love of it. (The objective of the gambler is not
... See moreGabor Maté • Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
People who have a grandiose and inflated view of themselves on the conscious level are lacking true self-esteem at the core of their psyche.
Gabor Maté • Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It
ADD mind is most uncomfortable with meditation, is intensely bored with it. It’s all the more amazing to me that recently I have actually come to enjoy and look forward to it. It becomes fun, after a while, to watch the fretful and anxious mind do its backwards flips, somersaults, and disappearing tricks—to observe it all, and work at not being
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