Saying Kaddish: How to Comfort the Dying, Bury the Dead, and Mourn as a Jew

Kaddish is given to mourners precisely because they are most aware of the fragility of life.

days to keep them from being treated only as patients, or even worse, as corpses-in-waiting.

For onenim who have the energy and inclination, this is a good time to write down what they are feeling. Some people begin a bereavement journal during aninut, others compose their thoughts in the form of a letter to the deceased. These words may even become the basis for a eulogy.

Three of the six acts of gemilut hasadim are particularly resonant for mourners: visiting the sick, comforting mourners, and showing respect for the dead. Bereaved people who find consolation in Jewish tradition and within their communities sometimes decide to pay it forward by getting involved in programs and committees directed toward mourners. F

The text is secondary to the emotional experience of its recitation. The meaning only comes clear when given communal voice.

“least expensive kosher casket available.”

The death of a baby or child and accidental or untimely deaths call for different words.

liberal Judaism to seek

Just as Jewish law and custom mandates marriage and discourages hermits, and prefers the give-and-take of group discussion over solitary study, Jewish mourners are thrust into the center of their communities.