Romance plot

I feel only the constant strain of translation. He could love me but not know me. What was I trying to beat to the punch? What was I evading?

“Everyone talks about what crushes do to a marriage, whether they strengthen it or weaken it or whatever, but no one talks about what it does to us, to have that connection and then lose it. It’s brutal. And you’re all alone in it. Because what are you going to do—ask your husband to comfort you?”

IT’S INTIMIDATING TO ASK that we know our characters as well as we know our beloveds, but it’s the right aspiration. If a character is proving prickly on a first date, we should be open to considering anything that might help us understand why: romantic history, intimacy issues, the model of love learned from parents.

The small child is not yet able to discriminate between positive and negative life circumstances. She loves her parents and needs their presence to feel secure. Thus she takes pleasure in being with them, whether or not their behavior merits her love. When treated with cruelty or humiliation, rejection or withdrawal, the child “attaches” the pleasu

Those with a more dependent style may not only scare people away with their clinging behaviors but also become angry when their partners do not provide the perfect love they still seek. Their anger pushes others away, re-creating the pattern of their original loss.