Retroactive Jealousy: From Hellish Intrusive Thoughts to Becoming Your Best Self: Get Over the Past, Crush OCD, & Stop Being A Jealous Partner

That’s how envy can spoil safety. Envy makes us resent people who have something we don’t have. It feeds on itself and is ultimately self-destructive. When we envy, the very people who are loving, safe, and generous become the bad guys in our eyes.

Bien sûr, nous pouvons nous sentir jalouses et possessives, mais nos sentiments nous appartiennent en propre, nous devons les assumer, ils n’ont rien à voir avec notre partenaire. Nous faisons donc de notre mieux pour ne pas lui faire de reproches ou céder à la tentation de vouloir le contrôler. Au contraire nous lui demandons son soutien pour nous

when you find yourself feeling jealous of others, remind yourself that if they can do it, so can you. Their success is only an indication that it can be

Jealousy is an invitation from your future self. It is inviting you to look more closely at someone else—not to make you feel inferior, but to show you what is possible.

To the detached persons reading this book: Recognize that you have been the terrible partner. Through your fear and obsessive love you have robbed your spouse of the ability to feel trusted, to feel confident, or to feel secure.

Set aside some time for introspection. Remember some times when you felt jealous, and write about how that felt. You may find your mind preoccupied with thoughts about what those other people were doing. It may take a little patience to go back to your own feelings: rage, grief, despair, desperation, anxiety; feelings of being lost, ugly, lonely, w