This makes the importance of conversation noticeable to me. Whenever we drop below a certain level of talking, friction accumulates.

Christopher Alexander writes, the design must allow you to “mess around with it and progressively change it to bring it into an adapted state with yourself, your family, the climate, whatever.” Often, modern houses make this harder. They force you to live inside a preplanned, static vision. Unresponsive to your evolution, they alienate.

the house was changed to fit my grandparent’s life, but the house also changed them

This is what I infer when I see someone who is comfortable in their unique strangeness, too. There probably exists someone who enabled that evolution of personality. A parent, a friend group, a spouse. It is rare for people to come into themselves if no one is excited and curious about their core, their potential. We need someone who gives us space... See more