Checking to see how you feel during sex to test whether or not you are in love/attracted/aroused enough

the biggest block to freedom—the fear of making a mistake.

Seeking certainty breeds more uncertainty.

You carefully watched what behaviors were rewarded by your caregivers and which were rejected, who was praised and who ignored. You unconsciously tuned

Mentally reviewing how the two of you met to ascertain if you had the right kinds of feelings toward your partner Ruminating on your feelings for your partner or analyzing if you have the right feelings in your relationship

we redefine what we expect and require from our relationships, that we bring not only our anxiety back to scale, but also our expectations of what love and partnership should provide.

into every single detail and adjusted your behavior to fit accordingly.

part, we’re not even aware that

Avoiding intimacy for fear of not being aroused enough