Reflections on Reading the Zhuangzi as a Transsexual

I came to Daoist philosophy through Ursula Le Guin’s rendition of the Daodejing . In the second poem of that small volume, I read:

The things of this world

exist, they are;

you can’t refuse them.

-like a moment of vertigo. I still can’t explain why this truism has the effect on me it does, but I find myself, in moments of pain or grief, reminding

I am also, lately, a woman, which has the effect of emphasising my size. So as I read the story of Peng who was Kun, I wonder if he ever wished to be as small as a cicada or a dove. I wonder if he ever felt less of a bird for having once been a fish.