Similarly, flight is not only the act of running away—it includes actively avoiding people, situations, or places. It can be simply withdrawing from social situations by watching television or taking part in other solitary activities, possibly driven by anxiety or panic attacks.

You may defend with fight and then flee in more intimate situations, and appease in more public dynamics. Most importantly at this phase is to get to know how these work in you, how you have been shaped by and embody each.

Whenever we feel threatened, we instinctively turn to the first level, social engagement. We call out for help, support, and comfort from the people around us. But if no one comes to our aid, or we’re in immediate danger, the organism reverts to a more primitive way to survive: fight or flight. We fight off our attacker, or we run to a safe place.