Playing Big: For Women Who Want to Speak Up, Stand Out and Lead

there is a voice in each

name for her true essence.

When you receive feedback—negative or positive—remember that the feedback doesn’t tell you about you, it tells you about the people giving the feedback. Ask yourself, What does this tell me about the people giving the feedback? What—if anything—does this tell me about the preferences or priorities of the people I’m trying to reach? What can this te

Feedback is vital not because it tells us about our own value but because it tells us whether we are reaching the people we need to reach.

We feel pachad when the ego perceives something it feels will wound the ego’s fragile self-concept in some way. We feel yirah when the ego perceives that something has the potential to bring us into transcendence of the ego. Playing Big graduate Diana Tedoldi said it beautifully: “Yirah is the fear of dissolving a boundary, while pachad is the fear

“Now I see criticism as a source of information, somewhat akin to a news article or opinion editorial. Shifting to it being a source of information takes the sting out of it, takes the personal side out of it, and makes it useful and eye-opening.”

Incorporate Feedback That’s Strategically Useful, and Let the Rest Go

Where the inner critic rants and raves, the inner mentor speaks softly. The inner critic interrupts and invades our thinking. The inner mentor almost always waits to be asked for input before she speaks.

“the voice of not-me”—