Kat Vellos’s book We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships,

said. What we suppress consumes us, which is further revealed by a study that finds that keeping secrets leads us to ruminate, and the more shame we feel about the secret, the more we ruminate.

social context wasn’t just something that was happening to him; it was something he could create.

They leak their feelings passive-aggressively,

“anomie,” a disjuncture between the norms of society and what people need to thrive.

Anxious people are so vigilant for rejection that they register cues of it while ignoring signals of their acceptance.

sharing a statement or insight and asking a question to follow up.

People with anxious attachment try to merge with people they’re close to, building relationships of such closeness that their sense of self dissolves. Such intimacy soothes their fears of abandonment while making them vulnerable to an unhealthy friendship dynamic

if you are lonely, or push people away, or use humor to hide uncomfortable feelings, or try to be strong all the time, or think everyone will reject you, or keep hurting those who love you, or are overcome with jealousy, or don’t feel truly seen, or don’t feel like enough, then stagnancy is its own agony.