Because of this cauldron of factors, over the last few centuries, we have increasingly sacrificed community for work and convenience. We live in a society in which it is acceptable to cancel plans with friends for work, but never vice versa.

You can also make both propinquity and mere exposure work in your favor by becoming a regular at your local coffee shop, bar, or gym.

The secret to authenticity, then, is security.

Our friends advertise the kaleidoscope of ways we can live. They expose us to new ways of being in the world, showing us another life is possible. As

the collapsing of time, the superimposition of the past onto the present.

it’s choosing book clubs over happy hours, or a language class over a language workshop.

People with anxious attachment try to merge with people they’re close to, building relationships of such closeness that their sense of self dissolves. Such intimacy soothes their fears of abandonment while making them vulnerable to an unhealthy friendship dynamic

“We should keep in touch. How can I contact you?”

Never let them see you sweat. But this advice is better applied to armpits than to vulnerability. Never lettin’ ’em see us sweat doesn’t make us strong. It makes us suppress our weakness, so it is trapped inside us.