E. M. Forster put it, “How can I tell what I think till I see what I say?”38 That understanding made Forster an unusually dedicated listener. In the words of one biographer, “To speak with him was to be seduced by an inverse charisma,39 a sense of being listened to with such intensity that you had to be your most honest, sharpest, and best self.”

The purpose of listening

is not to reply,

but to hear what is not being said

listening to reply is different from listening to ignite.